Recovering after dating a sociopath
And probably relished the game, especially when he won. I received the career news I’d been longing for: I’d booked a lead role in an indie film, and couldn’t wait to tell T; surely we’d celebrate. He trembled, his face pale, nostrils flared, teeth gritted. ” He shot me a steely glare, then raced to the kitchen.
Saying nothing, he began pacing and heaving while I stood there, paralyzed and perplexed. With both hands, he grabbed the heavy, chrome paper towel holster that was bolted to the counter top and pulled, shaking maniacally, until it snapped off. But I also wanted to be happy, to live free of terror and tumult and to move forward in my life.
But as healing crept in, my acting career began to flourish (and that later led to writing and Girl Boner). A few years later, I met a man who loves me sincerely, with whom I feel more like myself than ever. If you relate to this story, you’ve probably dated someone on the sociopath spectrum: people who lack empathy and remorse, who thrive on power and control.
There’s so much to say about all of this, which is why I’m launching a series here and on .
I know it’s not good for me to hold on to this experience but I just can’t let it go, you know?
” — Lee, 42 With a few exceptions, women and men who have had a relationship with a narcissist voice similar thoughts and feelings about their former partners.
While other women in the class pined over him, I only had eyes for acting. And I certainly didn’t need to leap into another relationship so soon after my last.
We met in an acting class, of which he was the star.
Looking back, it’s obvious that while I had been studying acting, T had been studying me.Sometimes the most important thing we can do is recognize that the little voice deep within whispering is brilliant, and worth listening to—even if our hearts can’t catch up with it just yet. I’m angry at the time wasted, the pain inflicted, the money squandered.Each bit of knowledge became a tool in his toolbox of seduction, ways to lure and keep me.He knew I cherished my place and independence, so rather than ask me to move in with him, he had strategized. He wooed everyone I cared about and dropped out of class to give me creative space ( deserve it—but my understanding of “it” wasn’t reality, not by a long shot.